On the 14th of October, Eric died in a caving diving accident in Roaring River Spring, Missouri.
Those of you who knew Eric know that he was a complicated man. He and I spent the better part of the last two and a half years either openly fighting or not speaking to each other, but before all that, he changed my life for the better. We didn’t fight out of hate- we fought because we loved each other deeply and fiercely and more than was good for either of us.
I met Eric three and a half years ago, on a random Tuesday night. We were both lonely and looking for something new in life. He introduced me to caving, and thereby altered my world forever.
Eric was the one who lent me gear, gifted me lights, and taught me knots and rigging and SRT. He took me on my first survey trip, my first vertical trip, taught me how to use Caveware and Survex, how to calibrate a disto, and took near countless photos of me underground so we could send them to my parents. He took me on my first dive at Ginnie after I passed my cavern class, and lent me dive gear even when we weren’t getting along.
I am still in shock, and so are most of the people around me. He was well known and widely loved (and consistently contentious). I think we all feel like we’re having a collective bad dream. It just doesn’t seem real, and I don’t know that it ever will. I’ve been trying to write something down for days, but that would mean admitting there is a world in which Eric is gone.
We thought we had a lot of time to keep space from each other, and that we could take our time to make up when we were ready. I am sad to have wasted so much time apart, but it really does make me treasure the time he and I had together, and the massive positive impact he had on my life. It sounds like you were happy lately. I’m sorry I wasn’t a part of it and that I wasn’t there to see it, but glad that you had people who loved you and things that fulfilled you in your life. You are already so sorely missed.
The last few days I’ve been thinking a lot about my (long, complicated, and at times arduous) relationship with Eric, and how it seems so long ago now. I’ve been wondering how much time will go by before I start to forget all the things I knew about him, and all the memories I have. It’s hard to know that you will never make any new memories with a person, never learn new things about them, or hear new stories. What we have now is all we’ve got, and all we’ll ever have.
Andrea F. told us all recently to “hug your friends and tell them you love them,” but I have something to add to that. Hug the people you fight with- the ones who drive you nuts, ruin your projects, break your gear, pilfer your hangers, and scoop your leads- just as hard.
Rest in peace, Eric. Like Ashley said: show us were the leads go.
Thank you for sharing this, I find my own grief to reflect your experience. Thank you for being brave enough to share some of the hardship of being his friend, the contentiousness.